DATE ;; 26/10/2020
Haven't updated in a while, huh? I've been having bad thoughts again. I feel like doing something stupid, but I won't.
I started group therapy...so that's good, I guess.
DATE ;; 13/09/2020
I'm sick. Yay.
I bought Doom II and played it.
DATE ;; 31/07/2020
Woo...I'm doing a little better. I?? Did some squats?? So that's great! I'm working on improving myself.
I don't have much to talk about, since I slept for most of the day, haha.
I have been binge watching NFKRZ's videos. It's become a part of my routine at this point. His younger self is honestly transition goals. My transition goals are realistic, I swear--
Also! I remembered I'm currently waiting to see if I can go to a group therapy session. Shout-out to my psychologist for suggesting this to me.
DATE ;; 28/07/2020
I want to fucking cry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel the strong need to see a therapist but my mother won't let me see one and tells me to just take my vitamin supplements instead (I have vitamin D deficiency). Like that'll cure my fucking depression, "mom". She claims to be depressed too but doesn't take my mental health seriously. I want to change my name to Elias Nicolae and change my surname so that it's the masculine form of my current surname. But I can't, because my parents won't let me. They don't agree with me doing something that'll put gender dysphoria at ease, apparently! I've been thinking about taking testosterone but I feel like that might be a bad move. I feel like if I don't see a therapist soon I'm going to do something stupid.
DATE ;; 25/07/2020
I didn't update yesterday. But nothing much took place, so it doesn't really matter.
I'm working on improving my mental (and physical) health...? So that's cool.
22:53 P.M. ;; I played some SimCity 2000 today. It was fun. I also played The Sims (you know, the original game, released in 2000) and woo! The nostalgia!
DATE ;; 23/07/2020
Ahh, I haven't written anything today.
I haven't been doing well, mentally, at least. I keep having these thoughts. Bad thoughts. I drew something to distract myself...please don't ask for context. It's not something I'd like to discuss in detail.
DATE ;; 22/07/2020
I got new headphones. Yeet! They're charging right now. They're not noise cancelling headphones though, something I kinda need. Still, I'm just happy that I can finally sleep.
21:30 P.M. ;; I forgot to mention this yesterday, but I now have a MySpace account! I'm still working on the layout, but so far, I really like it.
DATE ;; 21/07/2020
Okay, it is 27 minutes past midnight, and I decided to take Dante's Inferno Test...here are my results.The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
|Purgatory (Repending Believers)||Very Low|
|Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)||Very Low|
|Level 2 (Lustful)||High|
|Level 3 (Gluttonous)||High|
|Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)||High|
|Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)||Extreme|
|Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)||Very High|
|Level 7 (Violent)||Very High|
|Level 8 - The Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)||High|
|Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)||High|
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
13:46 P.M. ;; I took one of those surveys. It was fun to fill out but it was also kinda painful to type everything out. Anyway, I woke up at around 11. There wasn't much to eat other than some biscuits, so I consumed some before going to sit by my laptop...as I always do. :P
16:55 P.M. ;; I drew on my iPad for the first time in a while. It was kinda relaxing.
...I can't stop thinking about a woman I encountered a couple years ago. She gave me a biscuit of sorts and gave me a headpat. She told me she loved me. I didn't know this at the time, but now that I think about it, this woman might have suffered from schizophrenia. She spoke in an unusual manner. I can't remember what she was talking about but that was a spooky experience. Either way, it was apparent that she was mentally ill.
19:30 P.M. ;; My headphones fucking broke. I'm crying as I'm typing this, because I need them to sleep. I cannot sleep without music playing in the background and I don't have any other headphones I can use. I hate to say this, because it's a stupid reason for being upset, but I want to die. Yes it's dumb but now I can't fucking sleep at night. The voices won't leave me alone.
22:03 P.M. ;; ...I realise I may have overreacted. I apologise. I'm doing a little better now. I purchased Sanitarium for my Nokia 3.2. It is a lot of fun. :)
Again, I'd like to apologise for overreacting.
DATE ;; 20/07/2020
Hewwo? HEWWO?? Gee! I never thought I'd be sharing my thoughts here on salli-kromsali dot NeoCities dot org!
I...need to work more on this page.
Umm, some entries might touch upon some sensitive subjects. Usually without warnings.
The entries will be sorted from newest to oldest.
I tend to...not censor myself when it comes to pouring my thoughts out somewhere. If that's something that bothers you, I wouldn't advise reading any future entries.